vent posts

feb. 22, 2024

it really hurts when you mention something you like to someone and they immediately start talking about how much they fucking hate it.

like. ok. you don't have to like it. but can you at least not make me feel like shit for liking it?

i hate trying to socialise

edit: 22:49

oh. and it turns out theyre talking about a game with a mutual friend in another channel of the same chat.

a game that the 3 of us usually play together

but they just. @'d each other and are talking without me.

i know that doesn't really mean anything, but it does kinda feel like a hit anyway.

feb. 18, 2024

i feel wrong having to grow up.

i graduate from university on the 29th. i almost wouldn't have, because no one told me about it. the school didn't email me about it, and i only found out the date because a friend told me. it turns out the school had made a mistake and didn't invite me to graduation at all, so i had to phone them to get an invite. is this what being an adult is? being forgotten for important things? or is that just a problem with me?

it's weird. i don't want this responsibility. i haven't been able to find a job at all either. almost everything i've seen has been in childcare, which i'm not qualified for, or they're jobs too far away that i can't get to because i can't drive. i can't afford driving lessons or a car without a job, but i can't get to a job without a car.

i just want to be able to exist without worrying about all of this.

why can't i just live?

jan. 31, 2024

this first vent is going to be sort of silly. light hearted, i guess.

my mom is now friends with me on pocket camp, and i feel a bit weird about it, because now i cannot express myself how i want to. it's definitely a silly thing, so this isn't really a true vent, but i guess it is okay to start off gently in these things. it does feel a little bit like i've lost somewhere safe to exist, but it's not like my mom is a bad person. she's very nice. i just sometimes want to have something just for me. but oh well, life goes on.

this isn't a serious vent, just a mild odd feeling.

maybe this is too silly and childish go post, but oh well.